Tuesday, July 28, 2015

uske bina zindgi aaj bhi adhuri lagti hai – janvi mishra

Hello frnds,

Maine nhi janti ki mai aap se apni baaten share karu ki bhi b-coz ye bahot difficult hota hai ek ladki ke liye kisi unknown insaan par wishwaas karna. Ye wahi janti hai jiska normally koi insaan bharosa tod deta hai….Magar yaha waisa nhi hai, aaj mai is blog ke jhariye apolozise karna chahti hu
Shayad mai janti hu ki bhagwan bhi meri is galti ko kabhi bhi maaf nhi karenga magar jitni bhi zindgi hai mai sirf prathna karungi ko ajay kuch rahe, maine use bahot jyada taklif di hai…. Akhir kya kasoor hai uska? Yahin…. Ki wo mujhse pyr karta hai…. Mujhse shadi karna chahta hai…..khushi dena chahta hai… akhir kyun bhagwan ne mujhe aise mod par khada kiya hai ki mai chah kar bhi uski pareshani…. Uski taklif dur nhi kar sakti… kyunki mai dil se majbur bhi….akhir kyun bhagwan ne meri kismat aisi likhi hai ki mai chah kar bhi apne khushi ke bare me nhi soch sakti…. Aur agar soch bhi liya to shayad use pura nhi kar sakti….

Ajay aur meri mulakat college me hue thi. Wo mere frnd k bf k frnd the. Bahot hi silent thaw o, jaise maano bahot nadaan ho, nasamaj ho, aur kya kahu mai…bus simple aur siddha-sadha ladka tha wo… usne mujhse first meeting me kuch bhi nhi kahan, usne to mujhse baat tak nhi ki thi, woe k engineer tha, meri classmate Sarita ke through hum dono ki frndship hue thi…dusre meeting me hum frnds milkar drive par gaye the. Mai Sarita, Ajay, sarita ka boyfrnd(Ravi), aur ek frnd Zayeer tha sath me, hum sab milkar ek car me long drive par gaye the. Ye sabhi mere liye unknown the because mai sarita ko bhi sirf ek saal se janti thi wo bhi ek casual mulakat hoti thi. Wo kabhi bhi college regularly nhi aya karti thi. Uska boyfrnd Ravi, mai use thik se nhi janti thi par usko dekh kar first time aisa laga tha ki shayad wo Sarita ke uncle hai… par jab us idiot ne mujhe Ravi ko as her boyfrnd introduce kiya … so for a little bit of moment I was completely shocked….maine socha shayad is ke piche kuch arur koi reason honga, kyunki jitna mai janti thi sarita ko she was not like this, uski taste itni bhi kharaab nhi ho sakti hai ki wo kisi uncle ko apna boyfrnd bana le… Quite shocking…. Ravi ne ek lodge type hotel me khana khane k liye roka tha…. There he booked abig room so that we can spend and enjoy as like picnic. Lekin ye sab mere liye naya tha… mujhe nhi pata tha ki unke mind me kya hai aur kya nahi… suddenly Ravi ordered a drink for the boys, And I started feeling uncomfortable…..
Na jane kyun ajay ko laga ki Ravi galat kar rha hai, kyunki ladki ke samne drink karna….! Par fir Ravi strted abusing his sentence….Sarita ne apne liye cold drink offer ki aur Na jaane kaise Ravi aur uske frnd zayeer ne us me hard drink mix kar ke hume pila di…..I was not comfortable with that, I started being unconscious. so I just went inside the wash room to just put down some water on my head and my face, but still my eyes were not ready to see what was happening inside the room, I just thought that sarita an! d his bo yfrnd wanted to spend some time in that lodge however I understand that and I went outside , so that I can rest for a while in the car alone.

Magar mujh me itni energy nhi thi ki mai chal saku, to mujhe us moment ajay ne bahot jyada sahara diya, usne mujhe car me bithaya, aur apne hankerchief se mere sir ko pocha as like he was my boyfrnd and wanted to keep me safe beside him.. jab us sharab ka nasha thoda thoda kam hone laga to maine maine apne mobile me time dekha, it was 5 pm, mai late ho gayi thi, aur shayad ghar jane k baad kya honga shayasd ye bhi maine soch liya tha….maine Ajay ko kaha ki mujhe ghar jana hai to wo Sarita ko le kar aye…..jab wo car se bahar gayan to main thoda rest le rhi thi suddenly Sarita ka boyfrnd Ravi car me aya tha and he thought ki mai nashe m hu and he started abusing me.. jab mujhe hosh aya to maine use dekha aur kahan ki mujhe ghar jana hai… he went out of the car, aur baad me sabhi log wapis aye….mujhe ek hi baat ka bura laga ki Ravi ne nashe ki halat me dekh kar mera use karne ka socha but he was not successful….

Ek tarah se bol sakte ho ki maine us samay chup rhna jyada important samjha because hum sab ek aise jagah par the jahan par koi bhi nhi tha…out side the city, kuch bhi ho sakta tha, mere sath, Sarita ke sath… aur shayad help ke liye aas-paas koi bhi nhi rhta….ghar par jab mai wapis ayi thi to maine imagine bhi nhi kiya tha ki mummy mujhe itna chillayengi…. Par aise hona bhi chchiye, be-coz main galat thi and I know ki mere sath aisa hi hona chahiye….. us hadse k baad mai khud ko sambhal nhi pa rhi thi kyunki aisa lag rha tha ki agar us situation me kuch aur hua rhta to mai kya karti? Shayad mai zinda bhi nhi rhti…… I would have completely lost my life….. ek hafta beet kyat ha, par mai is situation ko bhul hi nhi paa rhi thi… mai puri tarah se toot gayi thi aur mann me ek darr baith gaya tha ki kaise ab mai bahar himmat k sath jau, us duniya me to log bhediye ki tarah apne shikaar ke talash me rhte hai, ki kab koi ladki sunsaan jagah par mile, aur wo apne hawas ki bhukh mitaye….. ye mai kya soch rhi hu, Ek hafte se maine kisi ka bhi call receive nhi kiya tha.

Mere cousin sister ne mujhe ghar par aa kar pucha ki kya hua, ek pal me na jane kitne aasuon ko dekh kar wo bhi ghabra gayi ki jarur kuch bahot bura hua hai…. Maine use puri baat batayi… usne mujhe thodi himmat di mai wo hadse ko bhula sakun…..dusre din maine apna cell check kiya to mere boyfrnd lucky ke uncountable miscall the.. aur Sath me sarita aur Ajay ke bhi…. Maine Lucky se baat karna jyada jaruri samjha, kyunki hum dono ka relation 5 saal se tha, par mann me aisa laga ki wo kya samjhenga? Kitni galiya denga? Mai already itni upset hu aur wo mujhe aur upset karenga, blackmail karenga……

Lucky aur mera 5 saal ka relation hai aur us 5 saal me na jaane humne kine baar ek dusre k sath breakup kiye the….mai use dil se chahti thi par uske paas mere liye wqt hi nhi tha. Wo humesha apne kaam me busy rhta tha jaise mere mann mein aisi feeling ati thi ki shayad wo mujhe avoid kar rha hai, jaise he doesn’t love me at all. Jaise maine use phone kiya, he started using areugent language for me….maine use apne hadse k bare me kuch bhi nhi bataya, aur kahan ki mai bimaar thi, so he wanted to meet me at once… mai use mila…. And thank god he excepted that I was still not well… jab mai ghar wapis ayi mera phone phir se bajhna start ho gaya, it was ajay, maine uska call receive koya aur I started blaming him for the whole story which was caused that afternoon… ajay ko nahi malum tha ki Ravi ne mere sath kuch aisa karne ki koshish kit hi… usko meri baton ka itna bura laga, kyun laga ye main hi janti thi, shayad wo mujhe dil se pyr karne laga tha, usne us galti ki sazaa khud ko di.. usne apne hathon ki nas kaat di…. mujhe ye bilkul bhi malum nhi tha… aur jab Sarita ne bataya…Mujhe kuch samajh nhi rha tha ki mai kya karun…. I didn’t know him completely, to main uske ghar kaise jati….Maine use phone kiya aur use baat ki, I explained him how muched I remembered about that afternoon incident….

Ajay ne mujhe bataya ki Sarita ek achchi ladki nhi hai, wo sirf paison se pyr karti hai, and nothing else…. Ravi wo bhi ek criminal aur married person hai, sarita sirf uske paison k liye uske sath hai, she was with other people too, just like bloody prostitute…..aur shayad Sarita ne apne boyfrnd se paise liye honge to just use me……jab ye sab baaten mere samne ayi, mai bilkul akela mehsus karne lagi, koi nhi tha mere sath me aur mai shayad us samay akele hi rhna chahti thi….mai samajh nhi paa rhi thi ki mai kya karu…..ek paal k liye lag rha tha ki ajay bhi usi me shamil tha, because wo unka frnd hai na to shayad is plan me wo bhi unke sath honga…

Frnds, aap soch rhe honge ki ye kahani adhuri kyun hai but jab tak koi reply nhi milta aap ki taraf se mai is kahani ko aage nhi likh sakti….ye isliye, b-coz mujhe aap sab ke help ki jarurat hai, mujhe ek strength ki….ek unity ki jarurat hai jo mujhe help karengi mere faisle mein …. So plz mail me and answer me whether I should continue or not….

Thank you